Expression is the foundation of a loving and stable relationship


This confusions and inability to perceive affection on the part of their

parents only go to show that parents are ignorant about the importance of

EXPRESSION OF LOVE in words, gesture and touch, which are readily

perceived by their child.

They usually are very careless about the relationship

with their child. They regard their child as their personal commodity and end

up often toying with their feelings, of course, not intentionally. Their lack

of awareness and insufficient knowledge about the delicate nature of this

relationship deprive them of an understanding of the value and weight of the

expressions of love and affection. Ultimately, they have to pay the price for

their ignorance by making their own child confused, restless, and anxious,

and an insecure human being.

Affection needs to be expressed in words, gestures and touch, especially

while you interact with your family, because you are the most significant

person in your child’s life. Expression of love is as important as the food

one eats or the water one drinks, without which one cannot even imagine

surviving. It is one of the vital needs which are biologically oriented. The

perception of being loved, in terms of hugging, kissing, patting, encouraging

and other soft forms of show of emotion, is the first emotional need of a

child. Moreover, it shows your affectionate communication skill which is the

only way to send the message of the heart.

 

Come closer to yourself:

  • Your own problems hinder your child’s progress.
  • Mental disturbances between spouses, resulting in the parents

quarrelling at home, inter se, are a great mental trauma for a child.

  • Know yourself through your child’s eyes.
  • Train yourself as a good parent.
  • Be your child’s best friend, guide and philosopher.
  • Protect yourself from old-age worries.
  • Your child’s bright future is your old-age asset.

 

Have you ever felt that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind? Have

you ever drawn a dividing line between ’too-much’ and ’too-little’? Is it not

a good thing to perceive yourself honestly and adequately in case you are

missing out on your own issues? Come on! Do not try to shy away from your

own prejudices; nor do you ever think of keeping yourself at arm’s length

from your deviating child on account of your own egocentricity, vanity or

susceptibility. Accept them and deal with them accordingly. After all, it is a

matter of your child’s psychological welfare.

Criminality in Children

 

The very first step to stop crime is to make yourself aware of your children’s behavioural pattern and

assess them scrupulously.

 

 

Violating any social norm is a crime. Crime, in any form, including

drug addiction and alcoholism, hangs like the sword of Damocles over our

heads, ruining many families. Our own blood is killing us, either physically

or psychologically. Aren’t we parents responsible for these heinous

happenings? If we want to stop this, I will solemnly request all parents and

would-be parents to follow a family rule.

 

Criminality or addiction is not a disease. It’s an accumulation of

turbulent feelings or emotions, a negative behavioural syndrome that begins

to develop in your child just at the time you find yourself incapable of

managing him or her fully. So, criminality is not a sudden step or reaction

to a child’s unhealthy environment or bad parenting, but, is a slow negative

development, which leads them to take the most dreadful and ultimate step.

Alcohol, drugs, gambling, betting, and substance abuse are major problems

which our children will face while growing up for the want of healthy role models in the form of parents. Lack of remorse and

conscience in a child act as a signal for you to be alert, because your child

may have a difficult temperament which needs careful and delicate parenting.

So, the problems in

the family and the characteristics of the parents have a long-lasting effect on

the child’s behavioural-patterns.

Suicide is also an indirect/passive mode of crime which is knowingly/

unknowingly committed by our children due to lack of proper supervision

and awareness of the parents.

Instances of suicide and delinquency in children are becoming

more and more frequent and alarming. Blaming only academic pressure

is partially wrong. There are many children born with several academic

and non-academic talents; if you provide them a peaceful ambience and

loving approach, your children can perform excellently. Trust them.

 

Several parents, unfortunately, fail to identify the

positive traits of their kids. Instead, they engage themselves in making the

futile and fatal mistake of highlighting their children’s faults, mistakes and

misdeeds. Consequently, they miss out on the opportunity to appreciate them

and only end up in their distancing themselves from the child. This gap can

only be bridged through a profound understanding of not only their child’s

troubles but also their own problems which, ultimately, assume dimensions.

There is a strong link between parents’ own inner psyche and its

manifestation in their outward behaviour. How parents behave with their

child is a definite reflection of how they view themselves in the mirror of

their child’s eyes. It is of fundamental importance to note that the parents’

own problems are woven into their child’s problems and this interlocking

mesh can only be unravelled when they perceive the threats posed by both

these sets of uncertainties. Parents, unaware of this conundrum, are unable

to see their child’s ‘faults’ in the light of their own behaviour, and thus

forcefully try to fix a problem which stems from their own troubles. This is a

sad state of affairs and a startling revelation of truth, too. No good can come

out of replacing the stem of a plant, whose origin actually lies in the roots,

hidden deep beneath the soil. It is only when parents become conscientious

that they can truly understand the trials and tribulations faced by their own

child, who, metaphorically and literally, turns out to be the faithful reflection

of their parents. It is time for parents to wake up and look at this new reality

and come to terms with their own selves before they blame their children for

their mistakes.

Children look up to their parents as their role models. They are conditioned

by their environment, and parents form a primary part of this milieu.

Therefore, it is imperative as a parent to make sure you present the right

image to your child, because a Child is, in a sense, the Father of the Man, as

originally pronounced by Abraham Lincoln.

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