angry when your orders are not carried out by your
family members at once?
- Do you stick to your opinion that television, computer or other
electronic gadgets are a big hindrance to your child’s development?
- Are you inclined to say “no” when your family wants to go with you
on a pleasure trip?
- Is it hard for you to change your plan for the convenience of your
- Are you often adamant that “eating-out” is just wastage of money?
- Do you think others’ suggestions are not worthwhile, and how often
are you inclined to say ‘no’?
- Is it hard for you to accept the choices of your family for your
- You become angry when any change takes place in your working
area, bedroom, and living room etc.
- If others disagree with your opinion you try to convince them and
if they are not convinced you dissociate yourself from them very
- Whatever you do or say you want other people to perceive it in the
- It is hard for you to accept a mistake or feel sorry.
- You like people who often agree with you or your feelings.
- You feel proud in being logical and rational most of the time.
- It gives you a lot of stress while recalling the happenings of the day
so you stop revisiting them out of fear.
- You find it is really impossible to change your ways fearing it will
cause another problem.
- You often avoid reality by involving yourself in light tasks, like
watching television, indulging in gossip, etc., which often divert you
from stressful areas.
- You often feel uncomfortable in seeking help from others.
The above statements reflect one’s rigid attitudes. If most of your
answers are in the affirmative, it goes to reflect your rigid personality in
various aspects of your life. A person with such a disposition may hold a fixed outlook towards every
happening in one’s life and follow it blindly.
Many a time, it is found that rigidity is the cause of “ego problems”.
“I have told her several times that I do not enjoy movies”: a husband
was complaining about his wife.
“I told her a number of times that eating out is just a waste of money. I
cannot appreciate this planning so I can’t involve myself. It doesn’t suit me
and my mentality how can anyone force me?”
“My husband never asks anything. He keeps silent most of the time.
He is least interested in family affairs. How can I know what’s going in his
mind? Even his lack of curiosity confused me many times”: -a wife was
expressing her views about her husband.
On the other hand, husband’s reaction “I don’t need to know much
about it. I know what’s going on in my house and what’s going in her mind.”
Here, the rigidity in the husband shows his well developed “ego”.
Because he has already made it clear, now he cannot change his concepts.
This was the crux of the problem: husband’s rigid way of family
perception which blocked the way to new ideas, changes and views.
In most cases, the situation worsens where both spouses are rigid.
Thus, the rigidity in a person reflects his/her own insecurity and feeling
of being powerful and dominating. His deep-rooted anxiety and insecurity
gives him a false image of superiority and pride. He does not want to accept
his own shortcomings. The need to be “right” is so much prominent in him as
he has hardly a realization of being wrong.
It is hard for parents to comprehend how they transfer to their child their own rigidity and tantrums in a subtle way