Tips for the husband

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  • Take a break once in a month for your family exclusively

It is very important that you realize that your family needs your personal

time, which they hate sharing with your friends or others. Do make sure

you hand over that much space to them, if only once in a month.

  • Waiting for that day is very exciting for your child. They think a great

deal about the outing. You will find yourself fulfilled by watching their

excitement. Don’t deprive your child of this excitement.

  • Express your anger when absolutely necessary because you are full of

anxiety. But make sure that after some time you explain the reasons

for your outburst. Be careful of venting your anger on members of the

family because of your failure to solve your official or professional

problems.

  • Remember: economics is not the only face of the cards you deal in

terms of life. Yes, there is importance attached to the money factor, but

try cutting it down to a point. Check it—do you tend to dissipate a large

amount of energy over small issues?

  • Watching TV is a relaxation. But the comfort of being with your spouse

and child is even more soothing.

  • Finally, just as your quarrels are often in full view of your child, make

sure that you do some soft talk as well with your life partner in front of

your child.

Many good fathers understand their spouses’ interest and accept it, in

order to keep the family atmosphere warm and comfortable without making

any fuss.

TIPS FOR A WIFE

  • Keep silent when your husband is verbally aggressive.
  • Try not to be the reason for his outbursts. They come due to many

external stress-inducing factors (e. g., from the work-place).

  • Be cheerful; it may give him the necessary boost to go ahead with life.
  • Find a suitable time to talk to your husband.
  • Do not nurture the image of your husband as unemotional because males

are often more emotional than females. Find out the reasons for his

silence. Sometimes he is scared of your reactions. Present your strong

and patient side to him so that he feels free to ventilate his feelings,

ideas and thoughts. Do not block them. If you have objections, wait

for a while and find a suitable time to talk it over. You will see the

difference.

  • Never form a clique with your children while excluding your husband.

This is often a result of the annoyance he may have caused to you.

  • Never try to turn your child against his/her father.

FOR THE SPOUSES:

  • Make your spouse your best friend, guide and philosopher. Admire him/

her. Spend time together at home and outside. It takes time to grow

together as friends.

  • Always be affectionate with, and fond of, your spouse. Love cannot last

without its expression. This is the art of BONDING.

  • Remember the important days: birthdays, anniversaries and others. It

highlights your caring nature.

  • Be transparent with your spouse and talk with him/her always.
  • Develop confidence, affection and appreciation for him/her.
  • Give him/her a little pleasant surprise quite often. It keeps your love

alive and fresh.

  • Be sensitive to each other’s feelings.
  • Recognize and understand your spouse’s personality and weaknesses.
  • Show genuine interest in your spouse’s career and exploits.
  • Share any sexual inhibitions that you have with your spouse.
  • While dealing with a problem, keep focused on the issue. Address

‘what’ instead of ‘who’ is right or wrong.

  • Respect each other’s privacy.
  • Welcome each other’s relatives and friends.
  • Keep yourself looking good. Attend to personal grooming and maintain

the interest of your spouse.

  • Be able to assess your mistakes and, where necessary, laugh at yourself

sometimes.

  • Leave room for the opinions of others.
  • Avoid being suspicious, hypersensitive or thin-skinned. Let some

comments go by sometimes. Do not respond to everything.

  • Avoid feeling insecure when others disagree with you. Allow them to

exercise their rights. Try to learn from their disagreements—you might

just be surprised to see another solution.

  • Make careful considerations and act decisively with preparation for any

necessary changes or adjustment.

  • Comparing your spouse with others can be detrimental.
  • Don’t let any other person interfere in your marriage life, except

professional advisors/counsellors when needed.

  • Avoid using mean, degrading words. Give a careful thought to how you

express dissatisfaction or disagreement with her/him.

  • Don’t be autocratic while making decisions. Believe in mutuality.

Respect your spouse’s decision.

  • Financial planning is crucial. Mutual planning enhances the quality of

your family.

  • Both of you should be communicative.
  • You should solve the problems jointly as much as possible (familial,

social, financial, even official).

  • Finance, i. e. investments, expenditures, etc., should be open to

discussion for both of you.

  • Make your budget jointly.
  • Hiding financial strategy often aggravates the problems.
  • You should participate actively and jointly in social activities and follow

the rituals.

  • If you fight with your spouse in front of the child, make sure to show

affection as well; also, convince your child about your spouse’s good

qualities.

  • NEVER FIGHT IN PUBLIC. IT WORKS IN THE CHILD LIKE

SLOW POISON!

  • NEVER USE YOUR CHILD AS A GO-BETWEEN WHEN BOTH OF

YOU STOP COMMUNICATING. IT WILL INSTIL A FEAR AND

INSECURITY IN HIM. AS A RESULT, HE MAY START RUNNING

AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY IN SEARCH OF EMOTIONAL

COMPENSATION.

  • REMEMBER! YOUR QUARRELS MAY LEAVE A PERMANENT

SCAR ON YOUR CHILD’S MIND.

 

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